The Pride of Parker
Retired!
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Description
Two words, Iowa Hawkeye pride.
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| Bulletin board from the coach |
| Feb. 24th, 2015 - old news |
The Wrap Up And amazingly I'm not talking about what is used to help bury dead players on the team.
The Pride started out their first season like gang busters. Beating teams they had no right to, bashing up a storm, skilling up, it seemed to go right more than wrong. But there was an omen, the massive deaths I suffered. I survived it because I got lots of money for winning, but when that stopped, well, it caused problems.
Going into the playoffs in season 1 I had the team I envisioned. Lots of guard and mighty blow. It helped me with controlling matches, and was the exact human team I wanted to build. But humans still tend to be more fragile than the best bashy teams. And that would eventually bite me (although it hasn't bit any of my Elf teams, which can't all be attributed to blodge). What was the turning point. Well in that season 1 playoff game, a guard blitzer died, I retired a block guard thrower, and I gave my Ogre an agility boost. Everything changed.
The next season, down two guard pieces right off the bat, it would only get worse. Within the first 5 games, I lost two more. And I could not skill up fast enough to replace them. Without the guard, my weakness in caging strategy made winning tough. It didn't help that teams bashed me as if I was Skaven. Only one player didn't miss at least one game with season 2, and in the regular season I suffered 41 casualties. A not in the face bowl win softened the blow a little, but it was a disaster of a season.
Season 3 got me a 4 agility Ogre. I shouldn't have had a 3 ag Ogre, but stupid fate allowed the unthinkable. But Parker players die, that is the one thing to hold true, and although he played a few games, he never lived the dream of the Ogre pass completion before passing on. Feel My Roth was supposed to be my player of the team. I mean a block 4 ag Ogre. Touchdowns, casualties, completions, the sky was the limit. But the player that gets the nod for player of the team goes to A Thousand Miles.
Despite giving him grab for some unknown reason, his mighty blow piling on skills allowed him to be a terrifying beast of a blitzer. Helped some by pitch clearing snotlings in one game, he ended with 18 casualties in his final season, killing 4 players. Giving him 22 and 5 for his career. Only one player (Epic Greenwood) finished with more SPPs, but he played in 9 more games. I also felt a player who caused 5 deaths, deserved the nod for a team that both suffered and dished out tombstone laying hits. I've gone over my injuries suffered before, but it should be noted in 3 years, I killed 13 players myself. Not too shabby if I do say so.
So, another team is retired. More lessons are learned on the pitch, and about controlling my anger, and it's time to move on. I'm sure Chaos won't be frustrating to play, right, right... |
| - Nick |
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| Jan. 23rd, 2015 - old news |
Not with a Bang, but with a Wimper If this is in fact the last game for the Pride (and without some luck, that is likely the case) then they went out in the most fitting way possible (albeit without someone dying).
It was a game where on the first roll Gotta Have Faith badly hurt a Mummy, who did not regenerate. And every other roll for the half went the wrong way, until it was too late. Armor broken, yep, fail a dodge, yup. After Dearest scooped the ball up and was basically out of reach, then I could dodge like an elf,
The sweltering heat didn't affect much, which was a problem when you start the second half with only 7 on the pitch vs 11. Another score, a few more knocked off the pitch, it was the story of the Pride from season 2 on. Adding nicely to the finish was two more stat busts, bringing the overall total of those and deaths to 33 (not including journeymen, which would add another 5 or so). That would mean they ended up with an average of more than 1 a game.
Now, all that said, with three OT losses, the Pride now waits. I'm not even sure I want to make the playoffs, but if the Goblins can manage to pull up an upset in one of their last two games, it could still happen. So I wait with bated breath, to see if the misery continues for one more game, or the Parker is finally put out to pasture. |
| - Nick |
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| Jan. 5th, 2015 - old news |
Not So Safe Throw The Elves didn't have the ball much, but as Elves do, when they had it, they threw it. Ironically, that would be their downfall. On the first drive, a tremendous interception attempt by the Pride was foiled by Dank's thrower and his ability to safely navigate the ball to his catcher. He would not be so lucky in the second half, as the Pride intercepted him for a second straight game.
As for offense, it was bunch up, and surround the catcher with guard pieces. Cream Cheese Pagel was knocked down once with a fireball, but didn't suffer any long term effects, and managed to recover enough to score twice, keeping the Prides small playoff hopes alive. They must now beat the Undead for a second time, and hope those Mediogres are more like Spectacularogres and beat the High Elves. |
| - Nick |
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CRITICAL SEASON XXXVI CHAMPION CRITICAL SEASON XXXVI RUNNER-UP CRITICAL SEASON XXXV CHAMPION CRITICAL SEASON XXXV RUNNER-UP
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