Old Bulletins
Retired!
| Old bulletin board |
| Dec. 16th, 2014 |
Late to the Party The good news for the Pride, A Thousand Miles continues his bash heavy ways, taking out four Dark Elves (still not sure about that Lollipop thing) including ending ones life. The bad news, by the time he started doing this, Parker was already down 3 scores.
The Pride was able to force an early score, but it just seemed like the Elves didn't miss too many rolls, whether it be dodging into three tackle zones or needing to get a wrestle, they succeeded. Meanwhile, the best laid plans didn't go quite so well for the Pride. The player who fell down due to the pit trap, the ball bounced away from Pagel, so no tackle zones for the Elves to pick it up. And when it came to dodging, the humans seemed to have chosen the wrong cleats, as they were constantly finding themselves face down in the dirt.
The odd part, the Pride are still not eliminated from the playoffs. They will need to win out (most likely) and it wouldn't hurt if those Dank Elves would lose a couple times, but hope is still not quite out of reach. I'd also like to mention A Thousand Miles again. With his 4 kill on the season, he is currently Leading Killer among active players. The Pride has now also killed 13 people in 20 games. Along with the 15 kills from the opposition, there are been 28 kills in those 20 games. If you want to see the blood of a Blood Bowl game, then make sure to catch the Pride of Parker in action. |
| - Nick |
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| Dec. 5th, 2014 |
Beating the Snotlings out of the Ogres One reason I kept the Pride around, was the pride I felt for #7 on the team. A Thousand Miles has turned into a very solid blitzer, one who can do lots of damage thanks to Mighty Blow and Piling On. And his efforts were key to allowing Parker to come away with their third win of the season. Before the half time bell rand, Miles had injured all 5 of Mediogres snotlings (including his 3rd kill of the season). That along with sweltering heat (which didn't affect the Pride much at all) allowed a second first half touchdown, and the numbers advantage all second half. And that proved to be enough to halt any Ogre push.
So, with Group Po looking to be any ones game at this point, the Pride will rally the troops again, as they get set to face those Dark Elves of the, let me check, Lollipop Forest?? Well, I guess if you eat to many sweets you'll have dark rotten teeth... I got nothing.
Ok, let me try one more time, Dark and Lollipop, must be licorice flavored, which I hate, and theres my motivation for next game. Go Pride! |
| - Nick |
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| Nov. 11th, 2014 |
Not quite the last breath Having time to think things over, I felt that if I stopped mid stream, I would be doing the rest of the Pride players a disservice, so despite my best instincts, Parker's Pride will finish out the season. I mean technically, there is still a chance to win the division, not a good one, but a chance none-the-less.
With that, the Pride welcome a new Ogre to the team, and a care free attitude. Barring something crazy, this will be the Prides final season, so here's to having fun, and taking a few players out along the way.
As a note, in my previous post I mentioned a large sum of money to be put as a bounty on a certain Flesh Golem. That will be delayed due to needing to buy a new Ogre, but if the Oblique Approach returns next season, there will be a nice bounty to collect. |
| - Nick |
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| Nov. 10th, 2014 |
The End of the Parker Era The Pride of Parker has seemed to be fairly cursed when it comes to injuries the past few seasons. But as coach, I kept going, even with all the bad. Why you may ask, well I'll tell you. I had a freaking 4 agility Ogre, with block. I was willing to live with niggling injuries, armor and move busts, all to see what I could do with Roth.
Well, the Pride will retire, now that the only reason I kept them going has passed on. This is truly the sign that this team was not meant to be. In the end, I will have played 28 games, and had a total of 29 deaths, niggling injuries or stat reductions. That number is actually higher by one or two, if you add in the journeyman I've had killed on my team as well. I had 14 rostered players die in those 28 games. My only consolation is I killed 10 people myself.
I will remember the team fondly for their first year run to the playoffs, for the brief period I had the 5549 block Ogre, and for pissing me off more times than I can remember because half the team was off the pitch.
I'd like to end this with just one last thought. I put a 200,000 bounty on Anastatius from Oblique Approach, so somebody please go out and rip him to shreds, spread those remains amongst the many lands, and laugh while doing so. Thanks. |
| - Nick |
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| Nov. 2nd, 2014 |
Down, but not out The Pride was hurting, literally, after the last game. In fact, 5 journeyman took the pitch for Parker's Squad. And one missed go for it and a dropped bomb not with standing, they didn't make any glaring mistakes, and that was big for the humans.
In the first half, the ball got knocked loose and rattled around for a bit, but newly bought blitzer Jewell of the Nile managed to get the ball in hands and find the endzone. Then some solid defense as Abdul the Butcher intercepted the ball on turn 8 of the first half, making sure there would be no Dank Score.
The Elves managed to score in the second half, and bottle up the Pride, so overtime it was. Parker got the ball, tried to reverse the field, but dropped a pass. However the Elf thrower fell down when going for the ball, and there was Abdul again, ball in hand. With 2 squares to go, he was based, but managed to roll a push, and make his way in for the winning score. At 2-3 with all three losses in overtime, there is still hope for the Pride, as they take on the Necros of Oblique Approach next. |
| - Nick |
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| Oct. 31st, 2014 |
Ouch!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, here I was thinking maybe this team wasn't cursed. Why I keep playing them is anyone's guess. Maybe I like being hurt, because my players do, and that doomed be against the Chaos Dwarves.
There was no Shoulda, or Coulda, or Woulda, there was only DID in this match. SCW injured 7 humans (and 1 Ogre) in the match. On those 8 rolls, 6 were either Miss Next game, Niggling Injury or Death. Thankfully I saved one of the Niggling Injuries with my apothecary, which ended up a Badly Hurt. If you add in the Niggling Injury rolled against me when I tried to dodge away, that comes to 9 total injuries, 10 total rolls, 7 serious injuries. Frankly, the fact I got to overtime is almost impressive. But when my 5 strength is off the pitch, along with all my guard, and only 3 people not in the dead or injured box, it's kinda tough to pull on the victory with humans.
So I now go into the High Elf game with 5 journeyman. Really like my chances in that one... |
| - Nick |
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| Oct. 22nd, 2014 |
I love it when a plan comes together And that plan was obviously to get two ag boosts on my ogre. At least for one game, it also boosted his intelligence, as he didn't go bone-headed once. Roth did some hitting, some running and even tried a pass, which was just a bit to much to ask of him this early into his new found agility. Thankfully, the Pride was able to hold on against a game Mummy Dearest, and get win one of the season. Now to see if they can keep the momentum going. |
| - Nick |
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| Sep. 29th, 2014 |
I hate Morg He is too fast, too strong, and two agile for any price. That said, enough other Parker players got knocked out, that when you are facing Ogres with only 4 humans (or three humans and one Ogre) it makes it kinda tough.
The Pride managed to have a lineman kill himself as well, and had yet another stat reduction injury. In fact, in only 24 games, they have had 23 such injuries, including 12 deaths.
If there is a bright point, it comes from the bone-headed one on the team, as Feel My Roth managed to get his second ag boost. That's right, a 5549 Block Ogre. Not sure it will actually help Parker win any games, but it will give teams something to think about. |
| - Nick |
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| Sep. 11th, 2014 |
Not so much in the face So the Pride managed to come up as the best of the not so good, getting some injury roles, while should, coulda just couldn't when it came time to injuring Parker players (as weird as that may be for season 17). So, it's a new season, here's to a few more rolls going the Prides way, cause they couldn't be much worse than last year. |
| - Nick |
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| July 1st, 2014 |
At least no one died To say the game against Necromatic went bad, would probably be an understatement. I had three people off the pitch by turn three, and there was a riot to start the game, so yeah, armor was busting left and right. I guess the good news is the only serious injury was to a merc.
When I did do things well, it still didn't go well. I foul killed his best piece, but was caught, and he regenerated. I set up a good chance for a late score, but rolled two ones on a go for it before I could even then attempt the pass.
With bashy Orcs and Dwarves left, I hope merely to survive and try and set myself up better for next year. |
| - Nick |
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| June 3rd, 2014 |
Revenge After a playoff appearance last year, the Pride of Parker looked to take momentum into season 2. That momentum was quickly stalled, then pushed back, and then run over a couple of times just for good measure.
Deaths, retirements, dice, strategy, pretty much everything was going against the humans, so 2 ties in three weeks definitely came off as good news, and hopefully turning the tides a little. And now the winless streak is now thankfully over after 7 games.
Some good rolls, and good defense helped the Pride get even with the Ogres, even if I still can't break Snotling armor consistently. The team is going to need to the good luck to continue, as a nasty trifecta still remains, but for at least one week, hope returns. |
| - Nick |
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| May 29th, 2014 |
The Death of Deaths Granted I still retired a strength busted person, but technically I haven't had any player die in the last two games. We'll call that a victory?
As for the games, my offense continues to struggle, but the D has been much better. To many people where on the sideline which ultimately doomed my game against the Orcs. But did manage to get my second tie of the year against the Pinners.
With 4 tough games remaining, there is still a chance for a post-season game. I really hope I can avoid that, but for this team, in this season, I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up Not-In-The-Facing it. |
| - Nick |
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| Apr. 21st, 2014 |
The Death of Parker Players So, another game, another 2 Pride players dead. Just the run of the mill game for me. I guess I can be thankful they were unskilled players. Somehow, not making me feel better.
I again had half my team off the pitch by the end of the first half, and thanks only to a pouring rain did I keep the Greenskins in check. But it was tough to get offense going myself with so few people available.
Also, I'm adding a new segment to these, the running death tally. Through 15 games, I have had 13 players die (11 rostered, plus 2 journeyman). I have lost about 1/4 of all SPPs earned so far due to death. |
| - Nick |
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| Apr. 18th, 2014 |
Without Bad Luck I have had 5 people die on my team so far in my second season with the pride. Thankfully, this last game they were both Journeyman, but I rarely have enough people on the pitch to compete successfully with a human team.
Even when I planned something correctly, the last I roll two 1's when going for it (rerolled the first successfully). What I'm saying is the rolls have not been going well.
Logic says they have to swing my way to some degree. Guess I can just keep playing and hope that rings true. |
| - Nick |
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| Mar. 17th, 2014 |
A Lost ReRoll I wish I knew which team was better. Overall the Rats and Humans have gotten one game apiece. I acted poorly to the rule being used, but still feel strongly that it is a poor rule, that is as unfair as any rule in the game. Without that lost reroll the game could have gone much differently. I now vow to never win in the same fashion as I lost this game. |
| - Nick |
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| Feb. 24th, 2014 |
No revenge against the babes The Busty Babes were breaking armor, and that ultimately proved to be the difference in the Pride's first round playoff loss.
The Dwarves took up most of the first half, and many of Parker's best players off the pitch, to score their TD. Despite the player disadvantage, Roth (yeah, I mean the Ogre) caught a pass, and rumbled down the pitch, hitting, and dodging his way to the endzone.
Still deeply undermanned, the Pride none-the-less had a chance to send it into OT, but double skulled against the Dwarf Runner, which led to the winning TD.
The Pride will pick up a few new players (one dead, one strength bust) and move to the offseason, hoping to develop the dangerous (to them or their opponent) Ogre running strategy. |
| - Nick |
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| Feb. 17th, 2014 |
Yes, we're talking playoffs I would have loved to have a 5-5 record this year, ecstatic if I went 6-4, but to be in 7-3 and playoff bound is amazing. The Pride finished the year on a four game win streak, besting the Black Hearts in the last week.
A little luck was needed, and with Parker down to 7 on the pitch, and 3 of those stunned, a ball got knocked off the pitch, and ended within range of Hanging Chad, who was able to get the ball and throw it further down the pitch to put it out of reach of the Chaos Dwarves. He was then able to pick it up and go in for one more score to solidify the 2-0 victory.
Now we just sit back and see who we'll face in round 1, and hope the dice continue to be kind to these former Hawkeyes. |
| - Nick |
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| Jan. 21st, 2014 |
Brewing Up A Victory The winning streak continues. Sitting at 6-3, it's win and in for the Pride regarding the playoffs. That may be slightly more difficult due to a certain Ogre missing my next game, but all I can ask for is a chance.
For the game against the Ogres, Morg 'n Thorg was a load to deal with, but double skulled when it hurt the Bruisers the most. And despite an ill timed drop of a hand off, and more 4 and 5's on armor rolls against snotlings than seem reasonable, I was able to still get enough people off the pitch, and complete passes when needed, to pull out the victory.
One more game, but regardless of that outcome, it's been a good year for Parker's Pride. |
| - Nick |
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| Jan. 17th, 2014 |
This is just a tribute Norm Parker passed away this week. My team name was meant to be an homage to my love for the Hawkeyes, and the great success they had on Defense with Norm at the helm.
Some people say his defense was bland and predictable, but he obviously knew how to teach and mold his players so they knew where to be on the field. Many of his players will say he made them better people, and then better football players.
He certainly always took the bad with the good, and always maintained his love for the game and those close to him. So, my team in this league is not the greatest team in the world, it's just a tribute to a great man. |
| - Nick |
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| Dec. 20th, 2013 |
No you got that backwards I thought I had a chance of going 1-1 with my two games this week, I would never have guessed doing it the way I did. I played a close game against the Busty Dwarves, but my offense never really got going, so the one score from the Babes, was enough, despite me winning the injuries.
As for the Corruptors, the dice took a bad turn for them, so despite my Ogre being dumbfounded most of the game, my ability to know his players off the pitch, and some very kind dice (although not to Chance) allowed a come from behind victory. Still work to be done, but in the playoff race still. Exciting times for Parker and his Pride. |
| - Nick |
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| Nov. 12th, 2013 |
The Good and the Bad of Casualties A tale of two dice rolls. When the dice is kind, and you are able to knock people off the pitch, good things often happen. Against the Wood Elves, the Pride was able to do that, win the casualty war, which allowed assisted tackles, which ultimately led to a tough fought 1-0 win.
Against the Undead, the dice turned, and harshly, as three Iowa lineman perished in a the second 3-0 blowout of the year against Parker's Pride. The only good news would be they were only unskilled lineman who died, and I ended up with an Ogre with block.
Now I wait for the rest of the league to catch up before taking on some busty dwarves. |
| - Nick |
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| Oct. 30th, 2013 |
A good beginning leads to a good end The first rolls made by the Pride led to the death of a Dwarf, and that is pretty much the best way to start a match.
It was a slobberknocker after that, low scoring, back and forth, plenty of hits, a couple injuries apiece, and had the makings of an overtime battle. But using a guard piece, I was able to get a two die block on the block dodge runner, knocked him down, the ball went out, and a kind throw in allowed the eventual lineman to lineman TD.
After a bad game one, the Pride have corrected themselves, but have two tough matchups coming up. Will the dice continue to be kind. |
| - Nick |
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| Oct. 21st, 2013 |
Feeling Pridefull So Ballard wasn't officially part of the roster, but when you injure the other teams Werewolf, you earn yourself a spot. And although there were few actual injuries, the knock out box always seemed to have a Meme or two in it, and those numbers would help the Pride gain victory number one on the season. |
| - Nick |
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The Pride of Parker
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CRITICAL SEASON XXXVI CHAMPION CRITICAL SEASON XXXVI RUNNER-UP CRITICAL SEASON XXXV CHAMPION CRITICAL SEASON XXXV RUNNER-UP
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