Chanceburg Placenames
Retired!
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Description
"Mascot and Location or Perish!"
Mysterious Team Owner Jon-Tony McKirk Offenburg
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| Bulletin board from the coach |
| Feb. 28th, 2015 - old news |
SQUATS STOMP SKAVEN IN SECOND SCRUM! Chanceburg celebrates as the placenames move on to the Critical Hit Cup with a victory over the Fuzz Squad. The Placenames were able to grind out a 2-1 victory over the rats when their first one turn TD attempt fell apart in the end zone. Enigmatic team owner Jon Tony McKirk Offenburg was heard to say post match "If those filthy rats had named their squad properly, maybe we wouldn't have needed to be so hard on them!"
Our boys now move on to face off against the unbeaten fancy lads, the Gallifrey Gallopers. Can the dwarves bring home the cup? Is Gallifrey a real place? What secrets are behind the mysterious Jon Tony? These questions And more will be answered in Critical Hit Cup Stadium! |
| - Tim |
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| Feb. 13th, 2015 - old news |
PLACENAMES PREVAIL IN PLAYOFF PREMIER Our boys from Chanceburg were victorious in their inagural play off appearance against the homeless troupe of Necromatic shamblers know as Oblique Approach.
The match had been delayed due to the first several attempts having been met with confusion on the part of the Approach as they had believed that all matches occured at a neutral site! Discovering this infuriated the Placenames as this flew in the face of the unbreakable team motto "Mascot and Location or Perish!".
Crepuscular team owner Jon-Tony McKirk Offenburg vowed revenge at all cost against these terrible slights and our boys delivered from the onset as they injured star wight Rana Sanga moments after the openning kick! The well known dwarven capacity for grudge holding and revenge were on display all match as the necromantic players were continually made to "approach" the dugout!
After taking a 1-0 lead at halftime, the Placenames were able to hold the ball for all of the second half until Eldridge DeWitt was able to take a knee just outside the endzone, letting time expire rather than give the Approach a chance at their own revenge!
Our boys from Chanceburg will move on to the semi finals in a rematch against the dirty lying rats of The Fuzz Squad! |
| - Tim |
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| Jan. 28th, 2015 - old news |
Beards Bash Bayou Boys in the Bog The Placenames wrapped up the regular season with a trip to the Bog Bowl, home of the Bayou Misfits.
Our boys from Chanceburg were able to slog their way to a 2-1 victory largely due to several first half knock-outs of the soft headed frogs. Both team captain Colfax Mingo as well as the dapper dwarf Altoona Bondurant were able to push their way into the end zone for touchdowns. The Placenames did have a breakdown on defense when amphibious areal attack saw Tubb Rubba launch a pass to Winky Longhopper who had slinked his slimy slann way into the end zone!
After the match the ever obscure team owner Jon-Toni McKirk Offenburg named team captain Colfax Mingo as the teams MVP and issued a warning to all upcoming opponents during the playoffs to remember "LOCATION AND MASCOT OR PERISH!!"!! |
| - Tim |
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| Jan. 9th, 2015 - old news |
Weather Wrecks Warped One's Way to Win! Week 9 saw the completion of the home and home series between the Chanceburg Placenames and the Cult of Personality.
Torrential pouring rain ravaged the Cults home "stadium" (a chaotic cesspool on the best of days), causing their audio systems to fail, preventing the Cult's theme song from playing during their prematch rituals. This so distracted the zealots of the Cult during the opening kick off that the Placenames were able to make the first move! This lucky break allow them to secure the ball early during the Cult's first drive. A late drive failed pass from Runner Eldridge DeWitt to fellow runner Altoona Bondurant set up a turn 8 attempt to scoop up the ball during the deluge to punch it in for the go ahead score. Sadly this attempt failed when the ball came to life due to the prolonged exposure to chaotic ooze!
Chanceburg's ever resourceful and alway indescribable team owner Jon-Toni McKirk Offenburg was able to convince the Cult to sacrifice the writhing pigskin creature to the blood god Khorne at halftime!
DeWitt made up for his first half follies by taking the second half kick all the way to the Cult's End Zone during the match's second drive.
As the Placenames set up to kick off, Tzneetch showed his displeasure with the earlier sacrifice to Khorne at halftime, changing the pouring rain to blinding blizzard! The severely limited visiblity and treacherous footing foiled the cults attempt to push for a late match tying score.
Perhaps the Cult of Personality will change their teams motto from "Blood for the Blood God!" to "Change for the Change God!" |
| - Tim |
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CRITICAL SEASON XXXVI CHAMPION CRITICAL SEASON XXXVI RUNNER-UP CRITICAL SEASON XXXV CHAMPION CRITICAL SEASON XXXV RUNNER-UP
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Latest matches:
| CHC Season 37, Week 7 |
| 1 |
Doom and Gloom |
| 2 |
Marquess’ Maulers |
| CHC Season 37, Week 7 |
| 3 |
Coruscant Empire |
| 0 |
Pinkeye Pond Brow... |
| CHC Season 37, Week 7 |
| 4 |
Fallcrest Falcons |
| 0 |
Dracarys |
| CHC Season 37, Week 6 |
| 1 |
Children of the K... |
| 2 |
Doom and Gloom |
| CHC Season 37, Week 7 |
| 2 |
Moon Mountain Mad... |
| 0 |
Thomas Thomas Club |
| CHC Season 37, Week 6 |
| 1 |
Creeveland Brownies |
| 2 |
Thomas Thomas Club |
| CHC Season 37, Week 6 |
| 2 |
Handmaiden Sister... |
| 2 |
Dracarys |
| CHC Season 37, Week 5 |
| 1 |
Spee-Dee |
| 1 |
Thomas Thomas Club |
| CHC Season 37, Week 6 |
| 2 |
Endless Storm |
| 0 |
Amorical Spikey B... |
| CHC Season 37, Week 6 |
| 2 |
Spores of the Gre... |
| 0 |
Moon Mountain Mad... |
| CHC Season 37, Week 6 |
| 2 |
Coruscant Empire |
| 1 |
Fallcrest Falcons |
| CHC Season 37, Week 6 |
| 1 |
Marquess’ Maulers |
| 0 |
Pinkeye Pond Brow... |
| CHC Season 37, Week 5 |
| 2 |
Doom and Gloom |
| 1 |
Handmaiden Sister... |
| CHC Season 37, Week 5 |
| 2 |
Spores of the Gre... |
| 0 |
Endless Storm |
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